(Check All That Apply)
__ You frequently smile & wave at law enforcement
__ You might say, with a chuckle, “Hello, Officer.”
__ Cops love donuts and so do you. Who doesn’t?
__ A police officer shoots an unarmed person in the back and then there’s no trial ha ha ha that’s absurd.
__ A cop is following you? That’s probably because he is watching your back. Thanks!
__ It’s not easy being you.
__ “Bad boys, bad boys. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?” is so catchy who sings that?
__ Maybe you were born into poverty and cringe at the idea you enjoy any privilege but there’s someone who has it worse off than you and that person is probably not a member of the powerful majority.
__ It’s really nice of mass media to constantly reinforce your worldview.
__ America is the land of the free and the home of the brave and it was basically invented by very nice white people.
__ There are bad cops, because you can’t have good cop/bad cop without at least one bad cop.
__ The justice system works fine, and if you are innocent and in jail you can always turn to the American podcast industry.
__ Cops are just regular folk doing their job, powerful regular folk who get to make life and death decisions, and maybe you smoke a little weed here and there and every night but not enough to go to jail. Who goes to jail for a little weed?
__ You’re not racist.
__ There have been some ups and downs but generally the last 500 years have been pretty good, all things considered
__ If you don’t break laws, then nothing bad happens. Just don’t break laws, except for smoking a little weed, or double parking, or walking around in the middle of the day.
__ You love hip-hop.
__ Yoga is just a nice way to de-stress after a long day at the office.
__ You enjoy television shows where white police officers solve grisly murders.
__ “Stop and Frisk” sounds like a tickle attack from an old friend.
__ You’d be perfectly fine if a purple or a green and blue striped person moved in next door to you.
__ You feel safe when cops dress up in gas masks and ride around in tanks just like the Army.
__ Matlock would have made a wonderful Supreme Court Justice.
__ You will never drive 10 miles-per-hour over the limit ever again, officer. You swear.
__ It’s not easy being
__ There’s a suspicious person in the neighborhood. He’s tall, wearing a hoodie.
__ Hello? 911? There’s someone walking around the neighborhood. He’s tall. He’s wearing a hoodie and has baggie pants.
__ You own a gun because you need to be able to protect your family against the one person most likely to hurt them which would be you with your gun. Is that guy still walking around? Is he a drug dealer? A rapper?
__ Never call 911 stoned because it’s really weird.
__ You never can be too safe, officer.
__ He might have been just some guy or the friend of someone down the street or just some guy?
__ You could say he looked like dangerous.
__ You could say he looked like a criminal
__ You’re just doing your job. Thank you for doing your job. Thank you for protecting and serving and protecting me and my family.
__ You are totally stoned and that cop TOTALLY knew it!